Tuesday, September 28, 2010

And so it begins...

So...I had my first good cry about wedding planning tonight. Already. I'm not so sure I can handle this for another year.


Just as a preface, I'm wedding illiterate. I get that weddings cost a lot more money than most people think. I also get that planning a wedding is full of emotional highs and lows and lots of stress.

But I just don't know anything about weddings and wedding planning - I'm wedding stupid.

I found a local Birmingham photographer and fell in love with his photos. I wouldn't need him for engagement photos (will be doing those in Charleston - recs anyone?) or for a bridal session (not doing bridals). So he should be reasonably affordable... and the pricing I got back I thought was reasonable.

But without going into detail, I learn that his price is high. So if I do go with him, I'll have to sacrifice in other areas of the wedding.

I didn't cry as much about that (just some of my tears were reserved for this). I understand as someone who manages projects daily with budgets that you have to give on some things to gain on others.


I cried out of frustration that I am just so wedding stupid. I have this Knot book gifted to me by my recently married sister that is supposed to lead my way in this wedding stuff - and it has this wonderful list of questions to ask the photographer before booking them - so I asked the list.

But what do you do if you don't even understand the questions you're asking? What do you do if you're so wedding stupid that you don't even know what to do with the answers he gives you?

And what do you do if the price you thought was just dandy - I mean, duh, all weddings are really expensive, so it made sense - is in fact on the pricey side?

And why do wedding photographers have to be so unreasonably expensive anyways? Can't I just hand all of my friends digital cameras and just have them take photos? And yes... that's the wedding stupid in me talking.


It is quite possible I may be an alcoholic before this year is over (if I'm not already) - because two glasses of wine and a reassuring call to the fiance was needed to help me calm down after my realization that I'm wedding stupid...and this is only one decision of many! Am I really cut out for this?

And I won't even get into how my mom who holds the wedding purse strings already doesn't like half of my ideas...leaving me feeling even more wedding stupid.

Boo... is this really the beginning of the nightmares you hear about planning your wedding? And will it all really be worth it in the end? And am I even more wedding stupid for getting so upset so early on in this crazy process?

[insert advice and encouraging comments below please]


Lisa - respect the shoes said...

Aw, I think it all just seems overwhelming right now because you're starting things up.

Have you considered a consultation from a wedding planner? I know those folks are usually pricey, but a lot of them offer differ packages with different levels of support based on your need and budget or some also offer consultation services just to help keep you on track (plus they always have all sorts of recommendations on vendors/info on pricing/etc.).

Or ask your sister to take a bigger part in the planning help - if she's gone through this before, she knows what to look out for, etc.

MagicMarkingsArt said...

I know of a wonderful girl, Jenni Rone with SeaStar Arts Photography, she hails from your area and comes with high photography recommendations - check out her web site and let her know I sent you: http://seastararts.smugmug.com/Weddings
all the best - relax and have fun!!!
cathie carlson

nomo wino daph said...


I just wrote a flippin book and it's GONEEEEEEEEEEE


email me & i will tell you all I wrote....as a former photog (I only shot 3 wedding cause its stressful, lol, THEIR imp. day is in YOUR hands) I will give you my thoughts!
basically what i stated was:
if you can cut bk on other things not to compromise your photographer, thats the way I'd do.
If your worrried abt them not getting the images that you want, on your initial consult, take a list (save the images to your pc) and show/tell them. See if this is something that they can do. (maybe the less expensive photog doesn't have the "coolest" images....

these are some of my friends that are AWESOME photogs that I have had the priveldge of watching shoot....amazing.....
ck out their images and take notes.....it'll be less stress.
The photog will want to know the images you want (at least the ones that are there for YOU do!)

David Jay
Jasmine Starr
Garrett Nudd

I hope this will help a little.
Next to saying I DO, the images are the next important thing this day!!

I think I just trambled...still mad i lost my post!!!!!


Cindy said...

Girl, don't even worry about it! It is stressful at times, but remember you have an entire year or so to plan! The most important things to remember (to me, anyway) are: 1) This is YOUR wedding. Do what YOU want! Don't sacrifice something you've dreamed of just to make someone else happy. 2) Regardless of what goes wrong, just remember that you will STILL be getting married! Even if something little goes wrong, in the end it won't even matter :)
I would price several photographers and compare them, but remember that the pictures are one of the only things (other than the memories) that will last for years after the wedding! So make sure you LOVE your photographer! (and get some "fun" pictures too...I forgot to do that for my wedding and I wish I had!)
Good luck to you...everything will work out! Oh, and remember to delegate. Give your maid of honor or mom some things to do (especially the week of the wedding) so that you can enjoy the final days before the big day. And on your wedding day, make sure everyone else handles the problems and you just enjoy your day!
(I just recently started following you, forget how I found you!)

megan said...

Juliet Elizabeth is very reasonable and she is one of the nicest people I've ever met!
Here is her blog: http://julietelizabethblog.com/

JMB said...

alright so.....
first of all breathe IN.....(sMMmmmmmmm)
annnnd breahte OUUUUT.......(shhheeeeeewww)

I think your wedding pictures should be the most you spend, but that is just me. These are all your going to have to look back on when it alls said and done and everything is put away into a box, dress included (which I believe should be another extended expense.) That said, my best friend is getting married this Saturday and her mother and her typically get along...and Whitney wants to stay in a hotel room with all of her bridesmaids the night before because she says her mother is driving her BANANAS. I think they want your day to be PEEERRFECT and since they do hold the purse strings it is hard for them to step back and let you even throw out ideas into the open....HANG IN THERE and know you're SOOOO NOT alone in your feelings..and STRAIGHTEN UP, this is supposed to be fun. And it will be if you let it be. :)

Hayley said...

Look into Jarrad Lister....LOVE his work! http://jarradlister.com/blog/

Mandy said...

I do photos! If you ever need something, let me know. www.mandyphoto.com

Dana the indecisive dreamer... said...

Don't stress over your wedding or you won't have time to enjoy being engaged. Let me know if there is anything I can help you with!

Don't forget--do what you want, it's your day not your mothers. Elope if you're happier doing that, it's all about what YOU want.

Don't feel stupid about not knowing much about weddings, remember this is new to every bride. The ones that thing they know they have it in the bag can be stumped with lots of things they "thought they knew"

No worries peaches, chin up!

DSS said...

The only advice I have (from being in 28 weddings...yes...28) is to take it all with a grain of salt. If you don't have "just the right" flowers, or shoes, or cake...no one will remember. Not even you! It will matter so much leading up to your wedding, but afterwards...the whole day will make you smile no matter what.

You should love your dress. But pictures? How often will you look at that album? Probably daily for the first year. Then maybe once a year?

Don't stress or cry if you can help it. Because it is all going to be just the way it is supposed to be. Even if the wedding planner sends one of your bridesmaids down the aisle 10 minutes before everyone else, and to the wrong song. Believe me. We are still laughing about that today. And it didn't matter...in the least :)

Erica said...

Oh my gosh! I know the day I get engaged, I will not even know where to begin! The good thing is, you've got a sister and a mom. I just have a dumb brother, and he will be no help :) I suppose I dont have any advice other than make sure you enjoy this time and try not to sweat the small stuff (easier said than done, I'm sure). Just remember, the reason for all of this is so that you can marry the guy of your dreams! In the end, flowers and small details won't really matter. As for the photographer, I would price out a bunch and compare. You will find a bunch that you love. Good luck! Can't wait to follow your journey!

Erica said...

By the way, I also have a mom, but she has never planned a wedding either! (left that out in the post)

Katy said...

I second Jarrad Lister. He is awesome. Or Tracy Turpen.

This is my only advice about photographers. The most important thing about a photographer is to view a wedding from start to finish. A photographer is only going to put up the best photos on their websites and blogs, but those might not wind up being your favorites. You want to ensure that they will take 200 you like and not just the 15 they publish.